"You write funny one day."

StoryStudio Chicago is offering tickets to see David Sedaris as the prize for a humor essay contest.
Details here.

Just a story about a man and his dog...

The lit mag Creative Nonfiction is "seeking new essays about the bonds--emotional, ethical, biological, physical, or otherwise--between humans and animals." Top prize is ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Wait, no, sorry -- one thousand. One thousand dollars. That could buy a lot of milkbones.

Details here along with submission guidelines and other contests.